When you’re surrounded.

I knew signing up for a life coach would be transformative. After a year long journey with my coach, I saw results. I saw a change. A fire was lit inside of me.

And so I decided to join a MasterMind as well. A collection of other motivated women with an entrepreneurial spirit. While I had no idea where it would take me, I looked at it like signing up for grad school before getting a job.

I am laying groundwork for the “me” to come.

My progress in the last few months has been tremendous. But it is epically relative.

My “win” for a week might be eating healthier, working out a few times, and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. In fact, it’s a success if remember not to eat pizza every day. It’s an accomplishment if post a selfie on Instagram.

But I’m waking up to Facebook posts from other women in the group who are mothers of 3, do morning pilates, wake up at 6am and still have time to launch their new website.

IT IS INTIMIDATING.

On the one hand, these women exceed what I achieve in a day. But on the other hand, we’re all in the same group. Learning the same lessons. After the same #hustle.

There’s been days where I feel surrounded by success, but don’t feel my own. Jealousy creeps in, the “why can’t I?’s” start up, and I feel contempt bubbling inside.

I foolishly assumed it was only me.

Our recent MasterMind call, on #Gratitude no less, was eye opening for so many reasons. But above all, one woman’s input hit home the hardest.

She asked our coach how she could possibly remain motivated when the rest of the women in the group were accomplishing so much more.

Wait. Hold on. It’s not just me.

As women, we constantly compare ourselves to others, and in this case I was grateful she had done so. Her vulnerability allowed me to feel included too. Motivating me to keep pushing on – knowing we’re all at different stages, in different places.

But, if I’m going to compare myself to anyone, I need to remember to compare myself to me 1 year ago…5 years ago…10 years ago. That’s the only person I owe an explanation to. That’s the only person I want to be better than, to feel better than, to grow beyond.

I’m crushing my dreams. Not your dreams. Mine.

As the inspo-hiphop artist, #Lizzo, says in her song “Water Me”:

I AM MY INSPIRATION.

 

Painting
Original Painting, Imagined Landscape – Acrylic on Canvas – July 2017

 

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