No, that’s not sarcasm. I actually mean it. Hence the 2 exclamation points. (One felt flat)
I was rejected this week. And I’m feeling good about it.
Here’s what went down:
I submitted a piece of writing to a fairly well-known publisher of articles on the interwebs. I worked up the courage over the last week to submit an extremely heartfelt piece about my relationship with my mother and her influence in my life. I even checked with her to make sure she’d be okay with the submission, with our story public.
I assumed that it would be published. No doubt in my mind. Just needed to cross some t’s and dot some i’s.
But I was still nervous. What would this bring into my life? Would it dredge up the past? Would my ghosts catch up with me in the oh-so-terrifying comment section?
I submitted after careful deliberation. After buy-in from my close friends and family, and so much support. After all, this would bring me one step closer to pursuing my dreams.
[[ SUBMIT ]]
Now the waiting game. I went about my day with my errands, and cooking, and dance class (more to come on that). I was off to grab a drink with a friend, and then the email came.
“Sorry, your article was not accepted”
What? No. Wait. What?
This wasn’t supposed to happen so fast. How could they say no? How could someone reject what I had written, from a such an honest and vulnerable place?
And then came the #innercritic [ominous music begins to play]
Am I not as good of a writer as I thought?
Was it not interesting enough?
Am I, simply, not enough?
But then.. (dun. dun. dunnnnnn)
It hit me.
What a big, whopping sign from the universe.
My prose is not meant to be posted on some site, half their property, needing to be credited in all future references.
My voice and my story is bigger than an article. It’s meant for bigger things. Bigger things I can’t see right now.
My dreams aren’t going to take off with the click of a computerized submit button.
That saying…how does it go? There are bigger fish to fry?
That’s right where I’m at. No matter that I’m currently standing at the corner of #Lost & #Confused.
I see the future. And the future is for me.
I see so much ahead. So much more to come. So much further beyond what I can comprehend right now as I daydream in my apartment, covered in blankets, getting ready to go to sleep. .
Have I been rejected? Sure.
But, deterred? Not even close.